When the mind is still, any thoughts/words that arise from the part of the mind where Spirit dwells, rather than our own mind, is always most truly helpful. Sometimes no thoughts/words arise. In any case, there is always an underlying energy of peace, whether the form of Spirit’s response is through words to offer another or simply stillness. Words are but symbols anyway.
In any situation, whether it be for example, having a conversation with a friend, or a more challenging conversation with someone who is triggered by or acting from an internal unhappiness or upset, whatever the other person is communicating, listening with the non-judgement of Spirit is important. There were some challenging conversations I had in the past where I was at a loss for words. Afterwards, I would often be self-critical for not speaking up for myself or knowing what to communicate at the time. I later came to the realization that in such situations, others were just projecting their own unconscious beliefs about themselves and nothing really had to do with me. We are not responsible for the behavior of others, but are for our perception, and our response (be it verbal or just within the mind). And not making the unreal/illusions (the world and what happens in it) real in the mind. With that insight from Spirit, and a change in perception to seeing through the various forms to the true innocence in all, it was liberating to release the self-judgement and not take things personally, and become more the observer, or awareness, in conversations.
We don’t need to know what to say or do, when we let Spirit take charge. We can let go. I find this very comforting and freeing when I remind myself of this and each morning I ask Spirit to be in charge of my thoughts, actions, and day. We don’t have the best answers, but Spirit always does. When we listen mindfully with Spirit, it changes the way we experience conversations. When we are in our place of inner stillness, Spirit can then fully express through us. There is no attachment to outcomes nor a need to have others understand our views. There is no ego involvement. It is important to see each person that comes into our life experience, as the perfect, whole, innocent, divine light that they truly are. Everyone with the same source of wisdom and tools within. In another type of scenario, if you are in the company of or have a conversation with someone who is going through a difficult time, the best gift you can offer is presence. Spirit may or may not offer words for you to verbalize or ideas to act upon. When you join with Spirit’s peace and you perceive the other in his/her true perfection, the peace and well-being extends to that person. All minds are joined. That may be all that is needed to be a truly helpful support in that moment.
The following is a beautiful passage from A Course in Miracles. I have a copy of the quote printed and on my fridge, and it is a wonderful reminder that all is taken care of when we let Spirit, our Inner Teacher of Peace, take charge.
"I am here only to be truly helpful.
I am here to represent Him Who sent me.
I do not have to worry about what to say or what to do,
because He Who sent me will direct me.
I am content to be wherever He wishes, knowing He goes there with me.
I will be healed as I let Him teach me to heal."
~A Course in Miracles
~Freedom comes when you remember the magnificence of who you really are~
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